Anger is a funny thing.
Years back I was in a seminar with a few colleagues and the presenter handed us an ‘Anger Assessment’. It was a few simple questions to answer and scale, and then to mark to find out how angry we were.
The interesting thing is that when we were all done, the ones who were afraid of anger, were the ones most angry (they themselves were surprised).
The ones not afraid of anger were the ones least angry.
I’m pretty sure it boils down to self-awareness and core honesty.
There is nothing so confusing as mixed messages, and the mixed messages from those who give all the signs of being angry but don’t know it themselves are the most difficult.
How do we interact and grow in intimacy when the person to whom we are facing is saying one thing yet exhibiting another?
Though mixed messages are confusing, when we put more stock on what a person’s body language says and what the tone of their voice indicates than on the words being spoken, we are nearer to the truth and can gauge our interactions accordingly.
Bottom line, we must grow in self-awareness and core honesty if we want to grow in relationships. Core honesty after all is the infrastructure of all the rest of our lives.