I can’t think of any other time like Christmas that needs our strong sense of will and the ability to say ‘No’.

Particularly for women.

There was a movie I watched a bit ago and in it was expressed the sentiment by the heroin of the story, “I’ve never learned to exert my will over anything. Never even knew that I could do so.”

And in that one simple sad statement is the plight of women the world over (and some men too of course).

Now, growing up in North America I did learn to exert my will on things. From an early age I created and formed and fashioned many a thing. As I’ve grown older it has only increased.

Yet I still remember the crisis years that forced me to really look at exactly where I was exerting my will and was it what I really wanted.

For instance, I was exerting my will onto my physical world. I could make curtains, decorate a room, paint a wall, make a meal, and more.

But how many years can this be the extent of one’s will in the world?

Where I wasn’t exerting my will was in matters of relationships and in situations of emotional abuse and manipulation. I hadn’t yet learned to exert my will in those instances.

Didn’t know I could for a long time.

The thing is, in Canada and in terms of Christmas we’ve become so good at exerting our will over things like napkins and candles, gifts and wrapping, trees and gingerbread houses, sometimes I think we are still children playing around in sandboxes thinking these things are real and that they make a difference.

When we are grown women. Who have will enough to change the world, if we will just stop trying to control our lives with all this other stuff.

I used to try to make pretty. I used to need everything perfect. And it was because I had not yet faced up to my own imperfections and that life sucked pretty bad on a lot of levels.

Facing up to that, the life sucks part, is what really freed me to get on with celebrating Christmas in a way that feels honouring and holistic to who I am and what Christmas is really about. I’ve found my glad heart once I stopped trying to make glad.

I don’t know. I might be rambling. But it disturbs me. The continued struggles to make Christmas something rather than simply enjoying what it brings to us.

And releasing it to bring us nothing if that’s what it needs to be.

Christmas, we say to you, we need nothing from you. No longer will we try to extract warm sentiment from your fleeting presence.

Christmas, no longer will we use you as a crutch to build up our own torn down lives.

Christmas, no longer will we exaggerate you to our friends and families or use you to augment our own low self esteem.

We have used you long enough. We are sorry.

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