I’ve really come to appreciate those who can wrestle things through.

Over the course of my last years I’ve moved in ways, made decisions, stepped into things that have been challenging on a number of different levels for those around me.

Now these things were challenging to myself as well but I did my wrestling and due diligence before the Lord in secret really, just between myself and God is where my wrestling took place, and long before the effects began to show on the surface of my life.

Since that time these changes have now required that others too wrestle through so to speak, who and what I am.

And while there are those who have just walked away as well as a few who tried to change me, there are an increasing number who have done their own due diligence in wrestling through who and what I am in order to remain in relationship.

I am profoundly blessed by this and just so thankful for these people in my life.

I’ve come to see that in service to relationships we must wrestle through. We must take our preconceived notions, or perhaps our ideal way of doing things, maybe our what-matters-most-to-me list, and put it all out on the table, turning it all over and making tweaks, putting down expectations, releasing ideals of sorts, weighing each thing in the balance agains the relationship itself and seeing what is worth what.

Now we believe that our beliefs are what matter most. We believe that our ideals are top priority. We believe that our well-worn parameters of living are of utmost importance. But then, we have a friendship that means even more, and we find ourselves wrestling through, usually to greater understanding, greater grace, acceptance that holds less oughts and shoulds, and we are broadened in heart and spirit.

This is what I am learning from my friends. It is also the kind of person I am learning to be with and for and alongside them. It’s been a really amazing thing to be experiencing much bounty of spirit in the shifting required in order to preserve relationships.

At some point in time we recognize the journey and the years alongside each other and we simply know we must give the benefit of the doubt that they are doing their due diligence before the Lord. When things don’t make sense to us, when choices they are making seem less than optimal we simply come back to trust and the benefit of the doubt that they are doing life as they are to be doing life.

This is a beautiful place of friendship that has been both a gift and a challenge as I wrestle things out alongside others.

You see, when we take on the commitment to wrestle things out alongside our relationships we will become different people, a beautiful different kind of people.

Our paradigms will be shifted, we will see with different vision and our understanding will become richer and simpler all at the same time. It is what relationships do. They change us, we are marked by the lives touching us and that we touch.

It is a good and rich and satisfying way to be doing life.

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