It was a rousing discussion. I’d presented the following material and out of these simple comparisons conversation after conversation followed. We didn’t have time for all the thoughts and questions and dialogue.
It is most difficult to bring Christians to the cross of Christ. We are familiar with the sinner’s prayer and from long years past have come to great comfort with solid understanding and knowledge; paradigms are established and lenses are polished to a sheen.
We’ve drawn near to God in comfortable distance and see no need to tamper with this. Our boundaries are secure, “Yes, this near, but no closer please.” We think that the amount of the Holy Spirit that we have right now is good enough, “No more Lord. I’m good.”
There is no way through to healing and wholeness without honestly acknowledging hurt.
Hurt comes before healing.
Seems obvious but do we really get this, and are we willing to engage this unto healing.
Engaging hurt leads to healing.
Allowing hurt to penetrate gives way to options that only open up after the pain.
Recognizing how deeply we have been hurt over something is the only way to come through to the other side where the hurt does not own us any longer.
I’m writing this in the quiet of the night. One would think that the silence of an island would enable one to sleep longer but this has not been my experience. Wide awake after only four or five hours of sleep is becoming my normal.
At first I fight it, “Just go back to sleep” I tell myself. But when this doesn’t work I simply get up and go about my time as though it were really morning. I’ve learned to run with this ‘awakeness’.
I’ve always been able to gauge low-grade depression through my sleeping patterns. When I was young and working as a baker with very early mornings I was much the same way as now, needing only a half-dozen hours of sleep at most.
Some years later as I became less congruent and authentic in how I was living life I found it more and more difficult to get out of bed each morning. When what I wanted and what I was doing was in discrepancy I slept and slept.
Sleep has proven a very useful barometer of how truthful I am in my inner core. When I am engaged in activity that is peripheral to my true purpose I become tired and lethargic in my spirit and I sleep so much more. When I am living out of my purposeful core, in authenticity about my life, I sleep less.
During some of my worst years sleep was a drug. If I could sleep longer my days would be shorter. Less boredom, less frustration, less sorrow; there is less of everything when we sleep our lives away. In contrast, living out of my inner core my body resonates excitement and purpose and I no longer need sleep as a drug.
My body tells me what I need to know about my life and the way I am living it. Our bodies, after all, know what we do not know. The internal state of our hearts and minds shows through in our bodies if we will just take the time to listen and learn to read what our bodies are telling us.
Dissatisfaction is one of the best gifts we have ever been given. Nothing else can move us to change and renewal of our lives quite like dissatisfaction.
So this year, as you head into 2014, take hold of your dissatisfactions and harness them toward the way you truly want to be in the world and the kind of life you want to be living.
Don’t push away your dissatisfaction, don’t brush it off as though its meaningless, rather take it in hand and allow it to guide you and compel you to make the changes in your life that suit you best.
I’m thinking about the things that stand out to me as I look back at my 2013 year. Here is my list so far:
– We welcomed a new baby grandson into the family – I love babies
– I packed up house and home in order to focus on international ministry – now I have two homes… how did that happen?
– At CCI we slogged through all the financial requirements to go forward on strong footing – thanks team!
– We found out that tens of thousands are being blessed by the Capturing God’s Heart volumes that I regularly post – speechless
– I made a trip to Mozambique – was amazing
– My children made many big movements this year as they each took hold of their lives – I’m so proud of them
– I got to sleep under thatched roofs in Africa – tickled pink!
– I got to attend church under a mango tree – a true delight
– I had open sky showers in Mozambique – stunning to say the least
– I wrote and wrote and wrote – and then wrote some more
– I led a trial group through my material Walking in Spiritual Authority – with success
– I learned to sleep on floors and benches – on the floor at JFK airport in New York, on a bench at Johannesburg in South Africa, on a bench at the train station in Mozambique, and on mats on dirt floors in Mozambique villages – something bold and daring about it all
– I prayed with my Pastor friend in Pakistan after the church bombing in Peshawar / I prayed alongside another friend directly impacted by the attacks in the mall in Nairobi – lives changed forever
– I was changed forever by eight weeks of interaction I had with a young man in Pakistan as he came to know God and how that impacted his life – there are no words
– I’ve been blessed more than can be told by the many, many individuals from around the world with whom I’m privileged to do life alongside – profound thanks to each of you
– My own focus was narrowed down and fine tuned, I stopped doing all that I wasn’t to be doing – phew!
– AND as we turn the corner into 2014 we celebrate Capturing Courage Int’l being 5 years old.
Needless to say, its been a good year. The future is now
Reading a Rick Joyner book years back I learned that pride blinds us for three days time. It was an interesting thing to read and about the only thing I remember from that book.
Since then I’ve had grand opportunity (i.e.: my own pride) to test this out, and I’ve found it to be completely accurate.
Blinded, literally, by our pride.
So I’ve learned to give some space and time for my thinking and responses. When I’ve been kicked in the gut by another (as I experienced yesterday) there is always an element of my pride that has been hit.
Yes, the other party was in violation to an agreement made, but the part of me that feels the violation is simply my pride. And when pride gets kicked up, like sand in a dust storm, we just can’t see so well for a few days.
Our discernment is foggy, wisdom is compromised, accuracy is at 50% or less. It is therefore imperative during this time to sit back and allow the dust to settle before addressing everything that went wrong.
Give it three days, regardless of the trouble three days space will allow new light to shine on the situation. Three days allows emotions to settle, disappointments to be reckoned, betrayal to be grieved. It’s a good investment.