Your actions speak louder than your words.
There are times for solid action. While you speak and live a heart of love and life and generosity towards your fellow mankind, make no mistake, this heart-stance is not about excusing bad behaviour, injustice, or evil. On the contrary. A heart that is for people is for authenticity through and through.
If you would be truly FOR people at any cost, sometimes (more often than we care to think) the cost is standing apart, of creating separation, of leaving people to the outcomes of their bad choices, of declaring by action ‘this is not okay and I cannot be part of it any longer’.
You’ve begun with an expansive heart, you’ve come with clear words, but when those words lead to passivity or in-attendance or downright hostility, then you must follow through with action. These actions are oft-times hard decisions that would be the last thing you would want.
Do not nag, don’t manipulate, ensure you are not forcing our way, but remove yourself from relationship. Then, deal with your hurt, the loss, any regrets, and grieve what was not reconciled.
This is the way of adults, of mature people in the world. You cannot give the authority of your emotional and psychological health and freedom, your very life, to anyone else. It is yours to carry.
Action, following up after words fail, is the hard result of being an adult in a broken world.
Step back from what is damaging and to which you cannot agree or remain complicit.
We vote by our actions. We speak by our decisions.
Where there has been abuse, we remove our presence. Where there is manipulation, we leave. Where leadership is bad, dismissive, violent, or subtly uncomfortable that makes us feel less safe in chronic ongoing ways, we say by our actions, ‘no more’.
Actions speak louder than words.
We begin with words to be sure, we share, we challenge, we push back, we negotiate, we advocate, we pray, we speak, we write, we plea, but then at the end of the day when none of this resolves anything, we step back, stand away, retreat.
We get out of the way of the idiocy that would refuse to take into account the hearts of another or others. Why, why would we compromise our integrity in such a case?
We give weight to our gravest concerns by risking to break relationship. Not everything is to be borne. Our actions and not only our words must advocate for wholeness, for health, for respect, for love, for decency.
Actions apart, in the face of those who would pay us no mind whatsoever, who seem to dismiss us again and again, is the most honest and loving response possible. It is the response of integrity.
Remove yourself from bad leadership. Distance yourself from unhealthy toxic people. Separate from abuse and ill-will against you or those close to you. Take a stand for what is good and right and true and beautiful. Refuse to be complicit in anything less than this. Make hard choices, have tough conversations, speak through action.
[ p.s. a word to the wise, do not rock the boat as way of manipulation to enforce someone to change. this is false and will backfire. your motive is wrong and your action will come to no good end. do the hard work in yourself to come from a place of true integrity and strength to stand your ground. whichever way it goes you must remain true to what you can and cannot do. it’s not about right or wrong, it’s about what is working and what is not. refuse to be part of the problem. ]
When things are not well (i.e. chronically unwell) the boat must be rocked.