Some years ago I was involved in a program where I learned to unpack my life. All the good, the bad, and the ugly was laid out on the table, put before the Lord. I learned to validate the wrongs done to me and to forgive and release others.
I also learned how to take responsibility for the wrongs I had done to others. I learned how to make amends and to, the best I could, set things right.
It was a grueling process but one of the best things I’ve ever done.
There was just one apology I was never able to make.
I don’t know how old I was, maybe grade one or two, but one day when visiting a friends house I stole her barrette. I can still picture it to this day, so pretty and sitting on her dresser nice as you please. I can also still remember plain as day how awful I felt and continued to feel all through the years.
I never stole another thing ever again.
So fast forward 30+ years and I am making my inventory and onto the harm done to others page I write out this theft.
Now a barrette is a small deal. My kids might argue with me, its no big deal. But like I always say to them, “You are right, it is a small thing, which is EXACTLY why you don’t want to waste any energy over things that can easily be made right.”
Imagine how much of our life’s energy goes to small indiscretions that we never address. It just isn’t worth it.
Now while I had laid that harm out on the table, and felt better within my own being, I’d not had any way to find my friend and to apologize.
Until last week. Through the magic of facebook this childhood friend and I were reconnected. And right away I messaged her to let her know my theft and to apologize. I was tickled pink, delighted, and simply really glad to complete that job.
It is God’s care for me. You see, I’m shifting into another phase of my life and there is much of my past being left behind. I’ve been released from certain relationships, saying goodbye (in my heart) to the many who simply and for whatever reason, can’t move forward with me. Validating the good and the bad and letting go of both.
It’s been hard. But there is a definite corner being turned, physically in my world as well as in a spiritual sense. It is why I was so happy to make my amends, as simple as it was, because I recognize the good hand of God in the mix.
He’s got me wrapping up the past, so I can step into the future.
It is amazing how what most people think is insignificant can affect us in a deep way – the events in our lives, the small things we’ve done and the big all impact us in some way good or bad. The bad until we deal with it and make things right – then and only then can He free us and use it for His Glory to move us on to he future plan He has for us.
Yes I so agree Diane – I’ve found it is the smallest things that have had the most impact on the deepest core of me. It is all worth looking at