I’ve changed my byline yet again. Over the past year I’ve changed it numerous times. Each time growing in further boldness in what I am about and speaking that aloud.
Today (the day I wrote this) it reads: Gospel to the Unbelieving Hearts of Christians.
Years back I had articulated this as my calling and noted it as such in my journal. It was one of many singular ah-ha moments before the Lord; the closest sense to what His influence through me might be.
But I’ve barely had the courage to say it publicly before. Partly because it sounds rather offensive. Partly because it is provocative and I tend to like engaging below the radar.
But today I’ve said it out loud. Here is why.
I just read a blog post by a prolific blogger and thought leader within the Christian community. His post was about finally getting it a little bit how God might actually love him. He has been in church all his life and yet he frankly wrestles with the love of God on a continual basis.
I sat stunned and incredulous. I suspect this is true of so many Christians and I am deeply saddened and shocked and wonder where we’ve all been for all these years. How is it that the church of Jesus Christ has not facilitated the love of God???
How can this be.
Thing is, I’ve seen this propensity for years. As a prayer minister I’ve led many people to an intimate knowledge of our Lord in the mix of their stuff; they are always surprised. I myself was surprise to find God’s love years back.
Often there is no idea about the things holding us back or any previous knowledge or understanding of the profound grace and healing that God that is available pressed down running over.
Now, to be clear, as a prayer minister I do not tell people what is holding them back. I simply facilitate the Lord’s communication to them and their communication to the Lord. Because of this I’ve been witness time and time again to the Lord’s touch and it has changed me and how I know God.
For instance, it became apparent to one woman (in a prayer session) that she was holding back in her gifting and potential ministry with the Lord because she considered herself disqualified due to a past divorce and then a remarriage.
As she brought this situation out into the light, spoke it out loud, articulating the shame and sense of a great mistake made, I simply suggested, “Ask Jesus what he has to say about this.” Now I never know what God is going to communicate back in situations like this. I, like my client, are risking to ask and in baited breath stand naked before the Lord in great vulnerability.
But she risked to ask and the answer she heard loud and clear in her spirit was this, “I make all things new.”
Immediately, literally and simultaneously with these words, the shame and embarrassment and the sense of a great unredeemable mistake was completely lifted from her shoulders, mind, spirit and heart. She was free and at great peace.
Where she had expected condemnation and that thing irredeemable to God she found God big enough for all of her realities; when we find him in our biggest pain we know forever more that he shows up in the rest of it.
The enemy will no longer be able to trick her into shame. God’s touch has made her to dance in her innermost being.
This is the active love of our God. It is the sharp edge of the sword that pierces to bone and marrow bringing with it life and light.
But we don’t yet know this love. Have barely experienced it. Are afraid in so many ways.
This is why I can be quiet no longer about the great grace of our Lord Jesus Christ or the reality that the body of Christ still needs Him. We still need salvation in a continuing ever-present sense brought to our own souls.
This is the work I do.